I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
