butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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