Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
