everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
