i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
