Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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