oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
