When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So vagazzling was a success
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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