It's Friday. Sex?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
