I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize