I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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