You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
