So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
