Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
