he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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