I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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