Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
