New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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