and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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