So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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