somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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