i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
