im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
