Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
