I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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