my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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