You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
