I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
