quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let's get the cat blown out
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
