My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
