ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
