Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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