if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
