it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
