omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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