Whod you bang
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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