:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i am craving dick and cupcakes
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
