Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Couch. On fire.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
