Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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