You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i dont even know how to be here
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
