I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
