How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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