I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize