no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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