it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
being pregnant is like rehab
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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