Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
