So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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