The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
