dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ttyl tear gas
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
