she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
