I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
