went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
