You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize