was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
