U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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