Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
