Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize