Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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