your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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