Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
