I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
