ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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