i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
