So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Couch. On fire.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'm really busy with my period
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